How was my day? It was pretty good actually. It got off to a rough start as I woke up at 8 then went back to sleep until 1030. I finally rose out of bed after a long spell of reading about various topics my phone sprang on me. Topics like DLC for a pokemon game I’ll probably never play. I rolled out of bed and made twice steeped tea after a buddy of mine told me it was how you get a better taste out of the bag. It Probably would ring more true if I used quality tea. Right now I am sipping on trader joe’s green tea. Caffeine to me is the greatest drug ever created. I am a frequent and obedient user of its magic and everyday is turned in to a swirling journey of happiness and anxiety. Existential dread combined with antsy horniness. Thoughts that run a mile a minute, to fast to catch but slow enough to make an impact. Life without it which I’m sure I will eventually have to deal with will be boring, monotonous and just shitty.
The tea was brewed and I began to do a new morning ritual warm up. 5 minutes of 30 second back to back work outs designed to get my body moving.
Being an avid youtube consumer I played a ton of videos today. Mostly about mind set.
I think I am stuck in the middle of growth and set mind state. I know that I will get better if I keep doing things and thats generally my motivator. I take criticism pretty well, I don’t get discouraged that easily, SO I guess I fit in the growth category. But another problem I have is wanting more. Always wanting more but then getting caught up in how I’m going to do more and then I hit a road block where I am literally doing nothing but thinking about what I should be doing. It’s a horrible cycle that may or may not be brought on by the caffeine.
I finally got started drawing and I began by drawing faces at 3/4 view. I successfully finished a page of side view shots of a woman talking and it gave me the idea of staying on a task when I am studying. Ive been trying to draw more women faces and the first study session was so wild and all over the place. I drew faces at random angles mostly only once and wasn’t able to build off what I was learning. by dedicating a page of my sketch book to one angle of the face I feel I am actually understanding the face. unfortunately these first 4 faces at this angle came out horribly but the last one looked pretty good and I am excited to see where the experiment is going to go.
I also inked page 5 of my new comic and did it live on twitch. Ill probably do it again tomorrow just to stay in the groove as i suspect this week will be the last week ill have to be fully immersed in this project. its been slow but steady since its future is unknown. perhaps we’ll do a kickstarter for it, or an indiegogo. its so fucking hard to get the word out about anything these days with out getting buried but what ever. Ill just be annoying and who ever is left means they really want to hear from me.
I shouldn’t fear pushing people away. this whole number game is bullshit anyway.
After finishing most of pg 5 on the stream I headed off to go coach at the gym. The session was with one student who had prior boxing training which is always great because you can skip alot and just get right to teaching knees and kicks and then eventually hitting pads. He was a pretty quick learner and I hope he actually signs up and sticks with it. I think he would be an awesome heavy weight fighter. After that I did class which was technical clinching and sparring. Another great session where we learned to set up knees while someone is trying to punch us.
I was beat as I must admit i am not in the greatest shape anymore. after my last fight in august of last year i really fell out of love with competing and working out all the time. that combined with a repeated eye injury really made me rethink muay thai and my life in general. Im still here though just trying to find a new path with it instead of reigniting some flame. its hard to look at other people that are competing and fighting and not want to sign up for a fight just to prove how good at this I am. I feel bad about myself when i look at the bravery someone has to step back in the ring which is something I just dont have at the moment. It comes back every now and then but I’m just like whats the point of doing that shit for me personally. I want to be a comic book artist and illustrator not an amateur fighter. I just want to stay in shape and stay strong. never say never about fighting, but i think i need to further commit to one thing and at the moment being a fighter is not it.
maybe some day ill compete again. anyway i had a nother little bit of the last panel to ink so i inked that while listening to more mind set lectures. Check this out.
Its pretty good but a lil dronish. Is that even a word? I don’t care I do need to figure out my new comic I wanna start after Urges is finished. Tomorrow I plan working on a commission I have to do, stopping by sipping turtle to grab some books, maybe working there for a few hours, coming home and putting pencil to paper on page 6.